The Digital Footprint That Begins Before Birth
In today's connected world, many children have a substantial online presence long before they can speak—sometimes even before they're born. The term "sharenting," a blend of "sharing" and "parenting," describes the common practice of parents sharing information about their children on social media platforms.
While sharing family moments brings joy and helps connect with loved ones, this practice creates a digital footprint for children without their consent. As we navigate this relatively new territory, it's important to consider both the immediate and long-term implications of documenting our children's lives online.
- 92% of American children have an online presence by age 2
- The average parent shares 1,500 images of their child online before they turn 5
- 81% of children under age 2 already have a digital footprint
- By age 13, parents have posted an average of 13,000 pieces of content about their child
Understanding the Risks
Sharing family moments online may seem harmless, but it can pose several potential risks to children:
Digital Permanence
Once information is shared online, it can be difficult or impossible to completely remove.
- Content can be saved, screenshot, or shared beyond your intended audience
- Even "deleted" posts may remain in platform archives or third-party databases
- Facial recognition technology can link images across platforms and over time
- Information shared years ago can resurface unexpectedly in the future
Identity Theft and Fraud
Information shared about children can be used for identity theft or scams.
- Birth dates, full names, and birthplaces are key pieces of personally identifiable information
- Children's identities are valuable to criminals because their credit histories are clean
- Child identity theft often goes undetected for years until they apply for credit
- Seemingly harmless details can answer security questions or be used for social engineering
Safety and Security Concerns
Information about children's locations and routines can create physical safety risks.
- Geotags and location check-ins reveal where children regularly spend time
- School uniforms, sports team names, or landmarks can identify locations
- Sharing routine information can reveal predictable patterns of movement
- Real-time posting announces when you're away from home
Digital Kidnapping
Others may use your child's images for their own purposes without permission.
- Strangers may save and repost photos claiming your child as their own
- Images can be used in memes, advertising, or other unauthorized contexts
- Photos can be manipulated or used in inappropriate ways
- Some photos may attract unwanted attention from predatory individuals
Future Psychological Impact
Children may later feel embarrassed, violated, or resentful about content shared without their consent.
- Embarrassing stories or unflattering photos can resurface during adolescence
- Children may feel their privacy was violated as they develop autonomy
- Content may affect relationships with peers or be used for bullying
- Children may feel they had no control over their own narrative
Data Mining and Commercial Exploitation
Information shared about children can be collected and used for commercial purposes.
- Social media platforms analyze content to build detailed profiles
- Data brokers collect and sell information about individuals, including children
- Images and information can train artificial intelligence systems
- Future employers, insurers, or educational institutions may access this history
Real-World Scenarios
Understanding how seemingly innocent sharing can lead to unintended consequences can help illustrate the risks:
How Innocent Posts Can Create Vulnerabilities
The First Day of School Post
A parent posts their child's first day of school photo, including the school name, teacher's name, and child's full name in a public post.
Potential Impact: This information could be used by someone to impersonate a family friend or school-affiliated person, potentially gaining trust or access to the child.
The Birthday Celebration
A parent shares their child's birthday celebration, including full name, birth date, and age. Over several years, they also share the child's birth city and mother's maiden name in various posts.
Potential Impact: This combination of information is commonly used for password recovery and security questions, potentially enabling identity theft or account compromise.
The Sports Tournament
A parent regularly posts about their child's sports team, including practice times, tournament schedules, and locations with real-time updates.
Potential Impact: This establishes predictable patterns of where the child will be and when, creating potential safety vulnerabilities.
The Embarrassing Moment
A parent shares a "funny" potty training failure or tantrum story with photos for their friends to enjoy.
Potential Impact: Years later, these posts can resurface during the child's teenage years, potentially leading to bullying, embarrassment, or resentment toward the parent.
Legal and Ethical Considerations
The legal landscape regarding children's digital privacy is still evolving, but important considerations include:
Legal Framework
- Privacy rights: In most jurisdictions, parents have legal authority to consent to sharing information about minor children
- Platform terms: Most social networks require users to be at least 13, but have no restrictions on sharing content about younger children
- International variations: Some countries (particularly in Europe) have stronger protections for children's privacy and "right to be forgotten"
- Emerging legislation: Some regions are considering laws that would give children rights to have content removed once they reach a certain age
Ethical Questions
- Consent and autonomy: What rights should children have over their digital presence?
- Future implications: How might today's sharing affect children as they grow into adults with their own digital identities?
- Balancing benefits: How do we weigh the benefits of sharing (connection with family, preserving memories) against potential risks?
- Changing standards: How might today's normal practices be viewed differently in the future?
Best Practices for Mindful Sharing
Sharing aspects of family life can be done more safely by following these guidelines:
Implement the "Sharing Consent Test"
Before posting content about your child, consider these questions:
- Would I be comfortable if someone shared similar content about me?
- Could this content embarrass my child now or in the future?
- Would my child agree to having this shared if they could understand the implications?
- How might this content affect my child when they're a teenager or adult?
- Would I be comfortable if this content were seen by a wider audience than intended?
Optimize Privacy Settings
Use platform features to limit who can see content about your children:
- Regularly review and update privacy settings on all platforms
- Create private groups or limited-audience lists for family content
- Consider using private photo-sharing apps specifically designed for families
- Disable location tagging for posts featuring children
- Disable facial recognition features when possible
Limit Identifying Information
Be selective about the details you share about your children:
- Avoid sharing full names, birth dates, addresses, or schools
- Be cautious about sharing images of school uniforms or team jerseys that identify locations
- Don't post identifiable locations in real-time
- Blur or crop out details like house numbers, school names, or other identifying information
- Consider the cumulative effect of information shared across multiple posts over time
Involve Children in Decisions as They Grow
As children develop, include them in sharing decisions:
- Start asking for permission to post photos around age 4-5, when children begin to understand the concept
- Show older children posts before sharing them
- Respect their decision if they ask for content to be removed
- Discuss digital footprints and online privacy as part of ongoing conversations
- Model good digital citizenship in your own social media habits
Consider Content Carefully
Be thoughtful about the types of content you share:
- Avoid sharing content that shows children in vulnerable situations (bathing, toilet training, tantrums)
- Don't share content that could be embarrassing, even if it seems cute now
- Be careful with sharing medical issues or developmental challenges
- Consider how potentially sensitive content might affect your child's future relationships
- Ask yourself: "Would I want this shared about me?"
Practice Selective Sharing
Consider alternatives to widespread social media sharing:
- Use private, encrypted messaging apps for sharing with close family
- Create private digital photo albums with controlled access
- Consider physical photo books or private digital journals
- Share general updates without specific details or photos
- Implement regular "digital audit" sessions to review and remove old content
Respecting Other Children's Privacy
The responsibility extends beyond your own children to other children who may appear in your photos or posts:
- Ask for permission before posting photos that include other people's children
- Honor the wishes of parents who prefer their children not be on social media
- Be cautious with group photos from schools, sports teams, or birthday parties
- Consider blurring or cropping other children from photos if you haven't secured permission
- Avoid tagging or naming other children in your posts
Many schools now have policies regarding social media and posting photos of children. These typically include:
- Restrictions on posting photos from school events that include multiple children
- Guidelines about sharing classroom activities or field trips
- Policies about tagging the school or using school hashtags
Familiarize yourself with your child's school policy and respect these boundaries, which are designed to protect all children's privacy.
The Mindful Sharenting Checklist
Consider this checklist before sharing content about your children online:
checklist Pre-Sharing Assessment
Talking to Family Members About Your Sharing Preferences
Establishing boundaries with extended family about sharing photos and information about your children can be challenging but is important:
Starting the Conversation
- Be clear about your expectations: "We're being careful about our children's digital footprint, so we have some guidelines we'd like to share."
- Explain your reasoning: Share your concerns about privacy, safety, and future implications
- Offer alternatives: Suggest private sharing methods that you're comfortable with
- Be specific: Clearly state what is and isn't acceptable to share
Setting Boundaries
- Ask for permission: Request that family members check with you before posting photos or information
- Establish consequences: Be clear about what will happen if boundaries aren't respected
- Provide guidelines: Share specific rules about tagging, locations, or identifying information
- Make removal requests clear: "If we ask for content to be removed, please do so promptly"
Managing Your Child's Digital Inheritance
As your children grow, they'll inherit the digital footprint you've created for them. Consider ways to make this a positive legacy:
Digital Archiving
- Create private digital journals or photo collections that you can share with them later
- Establish a system for organizing digital memories in a secure, accessible way
- Consider downloading and backing up content from social platforms for preservation
- Create annual photo books or other physical mementos that don't have digital privacy concerns
Future Access
- Document your digital accounts so content can be managed in the future
- Consider digital legacy services that help manage online content across generations
- Create a plan for transferring control of childhood content as children mature
- Discuss your sharing history with children as they become old enough to understand
Finding Balance: The Middle Ground Approach
The goal isn't necessarily to eliminate all online sharing of family moments, but rather to approach it mindfully, with an awareness of potential future implications. Finding a balance that works for your family might include:
- Sharing selectively: Being intentional about what you share and with whom
- Focusing on moments rather than identification: Capturing the experience without revealing identifiable details
- Evolving your approach: Adjusting sharing practices as children grow and develop their own preferences
- Preserving privately: Finding ways to document childhood memories that don't require broad social sharing
- Respecting individuality: Acknowledging that children are separate people with their own digital rights
By approaching "sharenting" thoughtfully, we can enjoy the benefits of connecting and sharing while respecting our children's right to privacy and their future digital autonomy. The choices we make today about our children's digital presence will shape how they enter their own digital lives as they grow into adults with independent online identities.