Digital Balance Series
Beyond Screen Time: A Holistic Approach
The conversation around technology and children has evolved significantly in recent years. Rather than focusing solely on screen time limits, experts now advocate for a more nuanced approach that considers how, when, and why digital tools are used. This shift acknowledges a fundamental reality: digital technology is an integral part of modern life, and our children need to learn to navigate it healthily.
Digital wellbeing refers to the state of being comfortable, healthy, and happy in our relationship with technology. It encompasses our mental, physical, social, and emotional wellness as they relate to our digital lives. For families, fostering digital wellbeing means creating an environment where technology serves as a tool that enhances life rather than dominates it.
The Pew Research Center's 2024 study found that teens' relationship with smartphones is complex. While 59% say they spend too much time on their phone, 69% of teens say having a smartphone makes it easier for them to pursue their hobbies and interests, and 66% say it helps them stay informed about current events.
The study also revealed that 85% of parents say they at least sometimes talk with their teen about acceptable content to view online, and 75% talk about acceptable amounts of screen time. However, only 25% of parents use parental controls or screen time tracking tools, suggesting that conversation remains the primary approach to digital management.
Source: Pew Research Center's Teen and Parent Screen Time Study, 2024
- 47% of parents say they limit the amount of time their teen can be on their phone, while many teens themselves report feeling refreshed during breaks from devices1
- 60 minutes less sleep per night on average for children who leave electronic devices on compared to those who don't2
- Research shows families who implement device-free mealtimes report more meaningful conversations and stronger family connections3
- 45% of children who used electronic devices before sleeping had reduced sleep hours, compared to only 31% of kids without mobile device access4
Sources: 1. Pew Research Center, 2024; 2. National Sleep Foundation Study, 2014; 3. Common Sense Media's Device Free Dinner initiative; 4. University of Utah Healthcare Study, 2017
- 72% of U.S. teens report feeling peaceful when they don't have their smartphones, while 44% experience anxiety without them
- 59% of teens say they spend too much time on their smartphone
- 54% of parents say they spend too much time on their own phone, highlighting the importance of parental modeling
- Many teens report checking their phones immediately upon waking up, establishing patterns that can persist throughout the day
Source: Pew Research Center's Teen and Parent Screen Time Study, 2024
According to Common Sense Media's 2021 Census, overall screen use among tweens (ages 8–12) increased by 17% from 2019 to 2021, growing from 4:44 to 5:33 hours per day. Among teens (ages 13–18), overall screen use increased by 11%, from 7:22 to 8:39 hours per day.
While much attention focuses on media consumption, the research indicates that 54% of teens are digital content creators, with 21% posting videos online weekly. Encouraging creative uses of technology can help shift from passive consumption to active creation.
Source: Common Sense Media, 2021
Even as a technology professional with over 30 years in cybersecurity, I've personally experienced the transformative effects of regular technology breaks in my own family. What began as an experiment—a "digital Sabbath" one day per week—has become one of our family's most valued traditions, strengthening our relationships and improving everyone's mental well-being.
Digital Balance in the Post-Pandemic Context
The COVID-19 pandemic fundamentally shifted many families' relationship with technology. As remote learning and digital socialization became necessities, screen time skyrocketed—but this forced immersion has led to greater awareness of both the benefits and pitfalls of digital connection.
Research shows that the pandemic significantly impacted family technology use patterns:
- Increased screen time: 72% of parents reported their children were spending more time on screens during the pandemic
- Changing rules: 39% of parents became less strict about screen time rules during the pandemic, while 18% became more strict
- Digital fatigue: Both children and adults reported symptoms of digital fatigue—eye strain, attention difficulties, and mental exhaustion—after extended periods of required screen use
- Quantifiable increase: Screen time for children increased from an average of 2.67 hours per day pre-pandemic to 4.38 hours per day during the pandemic
Sources: Pew Research Center (2021), "The Internet and the Pandemic"; ScienceDirect (2023), "Screen time in children and youth during the pandemic: A systematic review and meta-analysis"
This post-pandemic reality makes finding digital balance more relevant than ever, as families navigate between necessary digital connection and the essential human need for unplugged interaction.
The Digital Wellbeing Challenge
Finding digital balance is particularly challenging for several reasons:
1. Technology Is Designed to Be Engaging
Many digital products employ sophisticated psychological mechanisms to maximize engagement. From endless scrolling to notification systems, these design elements can make it difficult to establish healthy boundaries.
2. Digital Tools Serve Multiple Purposes
The same devices that children use for education are often used for entertainment, social connection, and creative expression. This blending of purposes can make it difficult to separate beneficial from problematic usage.
3. Social Expectations Have Shifted
Digital communication has become the norm for many social interactions, creating pressure to maintain a consistent online presence. Children may feel excluded if they're not connected to these digital social spaces.
4. Parents Face Their Own Struggles
Many parents are navigating their own complicated relationships with technology while simultaneously trying to guide their children. This can create inconsistency and undermine efforts to establish healthy family norms.
The Three Pillars of Digital Wellbeing
Creating balance doesn't happen by accident. It requires intentional attention to three key areas:
Intentional Use
Using technology purposefully rather than habitually, with clear goals and boundaries.
Mindful Consumption
Being aware of how digital content affects thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
Balanced Integration
Harmonizing digital activities with offline experiences and relationships.
By addressing each of these pillars, families can develop a healthier relationship with technology that serves their values and priorities rather than detracting from them.
Family Digital Wellbeing Assessment
Before implementing new strategies, it's helpful to assess your family's current digital habits. Consider these questions to identify areas that may need attention:
Rate Your Family's Digital Habits
Reflecting on these questions can help identify specific areas where your family might benefit from new approaches or boundaries. Remember that the goal isn't perfection but improvement in areas that matter most to your family's wellbeing.
Core Practices for Digital Wellbeing
Based on the three-pillar framework, here are the foundational practices that support digital wellbeing in families:
Research shows the nuanced reality of teens' emotional relationship with technology: 46% of teens say social media makes them feel better when they're feeling down, while 31% say it makes them feel worse. This highlights the importance of teaching children to be mindful of their emotional responses to digital interactions.
According to Common Sense Media's research, 38% of teens (13-18) say using social media is 'extremely' or 'very' important to them, compared to 59% who say the same about listening to music, suggesting that other media activities remain significant in teens' lives.
Sources: Pew Research Center, 2024; Common Sense Media, 2021
It's worth noting that research on screen time faces methodological challenges, including self-reporting biases and difficulty isolating the effects of technology from other factors. The statistics presented reflect the best available evidence while acknowledging these limitations.
While research consistently shows changes in digital habits during and after the pandemic, the specific impact varies considerably by demographic factors, geographic location, and research methodology. The trends described represent general patterns rather than universal experiences.
Create Tech-Free Zones and Times
Designate specific spaces and time periods where devices are not used, allowing for focused attention and connection.
- Meal times: Keep the dining table device-free to encourage conversation
- Bedrooms: Consider making bedrooms device-free zones, especially for younger children
- Family activities: Designate certain family activities as tech-free
- Buffer periods: Establish tech-free time before bed (at least 30-60 minutes) and first thing in the morning
Increase Visibility
Make technology use more visible within the family, reducing isolation and creating natural opportunities for guidance.
- Central charging station: Create a designated location where devices charge overnight
- Family spaces: Keep screens in common areas where usage is visible
- Shared accounts: For younger children, use shared accounts that parents can easily monitor
- Regular check-ins: Create routine opportunities to discuss digital experiences
Focus on Quality Over Quantity
Shift emphasis from time spent to the quality and purpose of digital activities.
- Categorize usage: Distinguish between creative, educational, social, and entertainment uses
- Establish priorities: Identify which digital activities align with family values
- Set intentions: Before using devices, identify the purpose ("I'm going to use this time to...")
- Reflect on value: Regularly discuss whether specific apps or activities feel worthwhile
Build Digital Literacy
Help children develop the skills to evaluate and engage thoughtfully with digital content.
- Media analysis: Discuss how digital content is created and what messages it contains
- Design awareness: Help children recognize how apps are designed to capture attention
- Information evaluation: Teach strategies for verifying information accuracy
- Creation over consumption: Encourage children to create digital content, not just consume it
- Pew Research Center (2020). Parenting Approaches and Concerns Related to Digital Devices
- Pew Research Center (2020). Parents' Attitudes and Experiences Related to Digital Technology
- Pew Research Center (2024). How Teens and Parents Approach Screen Time
- PMC/National Library of Medicine (2018). The impact of media use and screen time on children, adolescents, and families
- Internet Matters (2024). Children's Wellbeing in a Digital World Index Report
- American Academy of Pediatrics (2023). Healthy Digital Media Use Habits
- American Academy of Pediatrics (2023). Media Use Guidelines
- Center for Humane Technology (2024). Youth Digital Wellbeing Resources
- Digital Wellness Institute (2023). Healthy Tech Habits: How to Find Balance in the Digital Age