Short answer
I'd turn off notifications that aren't useful and decide which messages need my attention right away. You can start with one app, keep the alerts you rely on, and choose when to check the rest.
Choose what to turn off · iPhone settings · Android settings
Watch my explanation
Three levels to consider
1. Apps you don't use
Look through the apps allowed to send you notifications. Turn off alerts you don't find useful, including those from apps you no longer use.
2. Social media
A new post or suggested video doesn't need to interrupt what you're doing. Turning off those alerts lets you decide when to open the app.
3. Messaging
I consider turning off notifications from messaging apps the most effective of these changes. That includes texts, WhatsApp and Messenger. You can decide when to check for messages.
Before silencing a messaging app, agree with the people who need a prompt reply how they'll reach you. Keep that route available and test it with them after changing your settings. If you rely on that app for work or caregiving, you may want to leave its alerts on.
Start with a smaller change
You could turn off social media messaging alerts while keeping text notifications, or try changing one app first. If you choose to check messages at particular times, pick times that fit your responsibilities and tell people what to expect.
Change the settings
Use the section for your phone. Review each app separately so you can keep notifications you find useful.
iPhone
- Open Settings and tap Notifications.
- Choose an app under Notification Style.
- Turn off Allow Notifications to stop that app's notifications.
To keep notifications but change where they appear, leave Allow Notifications on. Under Alerts, choose whether they appear on the Lock Screen, in Notification Center or as banners. You can also turn off Badges to remove the count on the app's icon.
Android
- Open Settings, then Notifications, then App notifications.
- Choose the app. If it isn't listed, use the menu to show all apps.
- Turn off the app's notifications, or choose which categories to turn off if the app offers them.
The labels vary by phone. You can also press and hold a notification, then tap Settings to reach its controls. If you choose Silent, the notification remains visible when you swipe down, but it won't make a sound or vibrate.
Let your children see the example
When you decide what deserves your attention, your children can see you practice that judgment. You can explain why you're leaving a message until later, or why a particular call needs an answer.
If your child already uses a device or messaging app, you can talk through those choices together. The Is my child ready? guide covers whether to allow that access.
See what helps
After trying a change, notice whether it reduced interruptions and whether you missed anything that needed a prompt response. Adjust the settings or your contact arrangements based on what happened.
If you want somewhere to begin, choose one app whose notifications you usually ignore and turn them off using the settings above.
If you're reconsidering your child's wider use of devices or apps, Having second thoughts? covers explaining a change and making time for other things. Its family time plan has space to plan time together.