Protect your child from harmful online contact

A game, message or friend request can give another person direct access to your child. Consider whether that contact is needed, who is allowed, and how your child can get help.

Choose the access that serves your family

The internet was not designed for children. If your family needs a way to call home, that does not require social feeds or messages from strangers. A game can be worthwhile without open chat.

I don’t recommend social media for children. For an app your child already uses, review who can contact them while you decide what access belongs in their life. A private profile or an account labeled “friend” does not tell you who the person is or how they will behave.

Communication can help people keep in touch, learn and play together. The decision is which people and activities belong in your child’s life, and whether the service lets you limit access accordingly. If it does not, a different game, an offline activity or a simpler device may fit better.

If a conversation concerns you

Listen and thank your child for telling you. Help them explain what happened without blaming them for being deceived, sending something or breaking a family rule.
Stop the contact. Keep the existing messages, username and account details for reporting; do not delete the conversation. Use the app’s report and block controls. Do not ask your child to send you a sexual image, and do not forward one to anyone.
Get help for the situation. Report suspected child sexual exploitation to the NCMEC CyberTipline. For a threat to your child’s safety or an attempt to arrange a secret meeting, contact local law enforcement. Image threats need the specific sextortion response; harassment by peers also needs a bullying response.
Keep supporting your child after the account is blocked or a report is made. Ask what would help them feel safe, review the access involved and arrange further emotional support if needed.

You can change access while continuing to help your child. Help them feel comfortable coming to you again, and discuss family rules separately from helping them through abuse. Response guidance.

Pay attention to what someone asks your child to do

Sexual requests, threats or attempts to arrange a secret meeting warrant a response even if they happen in the first conversation. The person may be a stranger or someone the child knows.

Asking for sexual pictures, sexual conversation or sexual activity.
Demanding secrecy, hiding the conversation from parents or moving it to a more private app.
Offering gifts, game currency, special attention or opportunities with conditions attached.
Trying to isolate the child from people who could help.
Threatening to share images, hurt someone or expose something unless the child complies.

A gift or a private conversation alone does not prove abuse. Changes in sleep, mood or schoolwork also have many possible causes. Ask about what is happening; do not wait for a checklist of symptoms when a direct request or threat already needs attention.

How manipulation can develop

Grooming is building trust or dependence to exploit someone. Attention, sympathy, shared interests or gifts can make a child feel understood or obligated. The person may then introduce sexual content, ask for secrecy or use something the child shared to pressure them.

There is no sequence a parent has to observe before taking a concern seriously. A threat can happen quickly, and an established relationship can also become abusive. Your child does not need to prove that an account is fake before coming to you.

Printable warning signs and response

Concerning online contact: a family reference

Get help with sexual requests, demands for secrecy, gifts with conditions, pressure to meet secretly or threats to share images. A concern can involve a stranger or someone the child knows.

Listen without blame. Stop responding. Keep existing messages and account details, then report and block the account. Do not download, request or forward sexual images of a child.

Report suspected child sexual exploitation at report.cybertip.org. For threats involving images, use familyitguy.com/sextortion-risks.html.

Keep helping after the first report. Review what access needs to change and what support your child needs.

Family IT Guy · familyitguy.com/online-predators.html

Check who can reach your child

Look at messages, voice chat, group chats, friend requests and invitations. Check the child’s existing contacts as well as who can send a new request. A game’s settings may be separate from chat on the console or another app.

Choose the contacts and features your family needs, then check the result in the child’s account. “Friends only” means the service’s friends list, which may include people your family does not know. Muting notifications does not stop someone from sending messages.

Roblox contact controls

From the linked parent account, open Settings, then Parental controls. Choose the child’s account and look under Settings you manage for Communication.

For Experience chat, set Experience chat and Direct chat to Off.
Under Chat and party with friends, turn the feature off and set Friends chat to No one where those controls are available.
If your child uses Roblox Studio, set Live collaboration in Studio to No one. Under Gameplay coordination, turn Quick Words off if you also want to disable the preset messages used during play.

Available controls depend on the child’s account age; some options require an age check. Some game creators add their own chat features that these experience-chat controls do not cover. Check the actual games your child plays; if a game still permits contact your family does not want, changing the account switch is not enough.

Discord messages and friend requests

On a computer, open User Settings, then Content & Social. Under Social permissions, turn Direct messages off. Apply the change to existing servers when prompted. On a phone, open Settings, Content & Social, then Server Settings to review direct messages.

Review Friend Requests separately. Turn off the request audiences you do not want, including Everyone, Friends of Friends and Server Members.

A server is a group with its own discussion channels. Turning off direct messages does not remove the child from those channels or their voice conversations. Review existing contacts and server membership too.

Fortnite voice and text chat

In Fortnite, select the profile icon, then Settings and COMMUNICATION. Set both voice chat and text chat to Off to disable those conversations.

If your family chooses some chat, Friends Only includes Epic friends and friends from the gaming platform. The broader Friends, Team Members, and Connections setting also allows people outside those lists.

Parental controls can limit which settings the child may change. Check the console’s own party or voice chat separately; turning off Fortnite chat does not turn off a separate communication service.

Minecraft multiplayer and Xbox communication

If your child does not need online multiplayer, open the Xbox Family Settings app with the family organizer’s account. Select the child, open Settings, then Content restrictions and Manage Minecraft. Turn Multiplayer off and review Clubs, which controls access to Minecraft Realms servers.

On an Xbox console, press the Xbox button and open Profile & system, Settings, Account, Family settings and Manage family members. Select the child, then Privacy & online safety, Xbox privacy and View details & customize. Under Communication & multiplayer, review communication with players inside and outside the Xbox network.

Multiplayer access and communication permissions are different choices. These instructions cover the family app and Xbox console; Java Edition, other consoles and separate chat apps need their own review.

Snapchat contact settings

Open the profile, then Settings. Under App & Privacy, choose Contact Me and select Friends. Friends and Contacts also includes people in the phone’s contacts.

Review the accounts your child has added as friends. The label describes an account connection; it does not establish that your family knows the person. A disappearing message can also be copied by the recipient.

TikTok messages and existing chats

Open Profile, then the Menu and Settings and privacy. Select Privacy, then Direct messages. For Potential connections and Others on TikTok, select Don’t receive to stop those message requests.

Existing chats can still receive messages. To stop a specific account, open its chat, select More options and turn Block on. Muting only stops notifications.

For a linked teen account, open Settings and privacy, then Family Pairing, select the account and review Direct messages. Message features and controls depend on the account’s age. TikTok makes direct messaging available from age 16; that product rule does not decide whether it belongs in your family.

Privacy and trust are different questions

A disappearing message can still be copied by its recipient. An age check cannot establish someone’s intentions.

Children need privacy as they grow. Explain what you supervise, why, and what would change as they develop judgment. Collecting more information about everyone is not a substitute for deciding which connections your child needs.

Questions to discuss with your child

These conversations do not require giving your child an account. Use words they understand and examples that fit their life. Let them explain their thinking before you respond.

Talking about online contact

How would you know whether a message really came from someone we know?
What would you do if someone offered you something but asked you not to tell me?
What kinds of pictures or requests would you bring to me?
What could you do if someone said they would share a picture unless you did what they wanted?
If I were unavailable, which other adult could you ask for help?

Make the commitment clear: if someone pressures or threatens your child, you will help, including if they shared something or broke a family rule.