Important Note for Parents
This article contains detailed information about predatory tactics used to target children online. While this content may be disturbing, understanding these tactics is essential for effective protection. The goal isn't to frighten but to empower parents with knowledge.
Consider reading this article before discussing these topics with your children, and adapt the information to be age-appropriate when talking with them.
The Current Landscape
The digital environment where children socialize, learn, and play has dramatically expanded over the past decade. While this digital world offers incredible opportunities, it also creates new risks, particularly regarding online predators who specifically target minors.
Law enforcement agencies report that online exploitation cases have increased significantly, fueled by greater internet access, the proliferation of apps and platforms, and the normalization of online relationships among young people. The COVID-19 pandemic accelerated these trends, with more children spending more time online than ever before.
- The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) received 29.3 million reports of suspected child sexual exploitation in 2022 alone
- 1 in 7 children receive unwanted sexual solicitations online
- The FBI reports a 97% increase in online enticement reports since 2019
- The most targeted age group is 13-17 years old for initial contact, though victims can be even younger
Common Platforms Where Predators Operate
Predators don't limit themselves to obscure corners of the internet—they operate on the same mainstream platforms that children use daily. While no platform is inherently dangerous, understanding where risks are highest can help parents focus their protective efforts.
Social Media
(Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat)
Common Tactics:
Private messaging, compliments on public posts, false teen profiles, offering validation
Gaming Platforms
(Roblox, Minecraft, Fortnite)
Common Tactics:
Building rapport through gameplay, voice chat grooming, offering in-game gifts or currency (like V-Bucks in Fortnite)
Video Platforms
(YouTube, Twitch)
Common Tactics:
Comments leading to off-platform contact, private streaming sessions
Chat Apps
(Discord, WhatsApp)
Common Tactics:
Private servers, encrypted chats, convincing children to move from public to private channels
Dating Apps
(Despite age restrictions)
Common Tactics:
Teens bypassing age limits, adults specifically seeking underage users
Anonymous Q&A Apps
(Whisper, Ask.fm, etc.)
Common Tactics:
Anonymous questioning leading to inappropriate suggestions, blackmail
It's important to note that predators typically don't remain on a single platform. They often make initial contact on a more public platform, then work to move the conversation to more private channels where monitoring is more difficult and encryption may prevent detection.
Fortnite has become one of the most popular games among children and teens, with over 400 million registered players. This popularity makes it a prime hunting ground for predators, who exploit several communication features:
- Voice Chat: The in-game voice chat allows direct, unmonitored communication with strangers during gameplay
- Party Chat: Private voice channels for groups playing together, often unmonitored by parents
- Text Chat: In-game messaging that can facilitate grooming or requests to move to external platforms
- Friend Requests: Predators may send friend requests after playing a few games, establishing familiarity
- Platform Loophole: Even if Fortnite's parental controls disable chat, predators can invite children to external platform chats (Discord, PlayStation Chat, Xbox Chat)
Parents should know that Fortnite features complete parental controls that can disable all chat functions, but these must be actively configured. For a comprehensive guide to making Fortnite safer for children, see our Complete Fortnite Safety Guide.
Understanding the Grooming Process
Online grooming isn't random or opportunistic—it's a deliberate, often patient process that follows distinct patterns. Recognizing these stages can help parents identify warning signs before exploitation occurs.
Stage 1: Target Selection
Predators identify potential victims by looking for vulnerability signals: posts about feeling lonely, fighting with parents, or seeking validation. They often review public profiles to gather information about interests, friends, and family situation.
Stage 2: Initial Contact and Trust Building
First interactions are casual and non-threatening, focusing on shared interests identified during the targeting phase. The predator positions themselves as uniquely understanding and supportive.
Stage 3: Relationship Deepening
Conversation becomes more personal, with predators offering emotional support, romantic interest, or exclusive friendship while collecting personal information about the child's life, school, and family situation.
Stage 4: Introduction of Sexual Content
Predators gradually normalize sexual discussion, often sending "example" images (sometimes AI-generated to appear age-appropriate) to encourage reciprocation.
Stage 5: Initial Request and Exploitation
Once the child sends any compromising content, the predator immediately shifts to isolation and control, often using the shared content as leverage for blackmail and further exploitation.
Stage 6: Isolation and Control
The predator works to ensure the child doesn't tell parents or friends, using a combination of shame, fear, and threats of exposure to maintain secrecy and compliance with escalating demands.
The grooming process can take anywhere from a few days to several months. Predators targeting younger children often invest more time in the trust-building phases, while approaches to teenagers may progress more quickly based on the teen's level of engagement.
Key Manipulation Tactics to Know
Online predators use sophisticated psychological tactics that exploit normal adolescent development and basic human needs. Understanding these tactics is crucial for parents to recognize warning signs and for children to identify potentially dangerous interactions.
Predators offer excessive compliments about appearance, personality, or maturity—particularly appealing to adolescents experiencing self-doubt. They position themselves as uniquely appreciative of the child's special qualities.
Warning Sign: Comments like "You're so mature for your age" or "I've never met anyone who understands me like you do" should raise immediate concern.
Predators frequently create false personas, often posing as teenagers or young adults with carefully crafted profiles designed to appear legitimate and appealing. Modern tools make creating convincing fake profiles easier than ever.
Warning Sign: Profiles with few followers/friends, recently created accounts, or inconsistencies in their personal details.
Predators position the relationship as "special," "unique," or "secret," creating a false sense of intimacy. They often frame parents and other adults as obstacles to this "special relationship."
Warning Sign: Requests to keep the relationship secret from parents or friends, or communications that repeatedly emphasize how the relationship is "different" from others in the child's life.
Predators systematically test and push boundaries, starting with small requests that gradually escalate. Each compliance makes refusing the next, slightly larger request more difficult psychologically.
Warning Sign: Requests that make the child slightly uncomfortable, but are framed as "no big deal" or accompanied by phrases like "if you really trusted me..."
Predators work to isolate victims from protective influences, encouraging them to communicate on private, less monitored platforms. They often create artificial time pressure for responses.
Warning Sign: Urgent requests to switch to encrypted messaging apps, private servers, or video chats.
Predators strategically expose children to increasingly sexual content to normalize it, often starting with "educational" pretexts or framing it as casual, normal conversation among peers.
Warning Sign: Questions or comments about physical development, romantic experiences, or sexuality, especially early in a relationship.
Once predators obtain any compromising content, they often threaten to share it with the victim's friends, family, or school unless more explicit material is provided. This creates a cycle of exploitation.
Warning Sign: Any threat, explicit or implied, to share content, harm the victim's reputation, or cause family problems.
These tactics are employed methodically and often simultaneously. They're designed to exploit normal developmental vulnerabilities in children and teenagers, making even intelligent, well-adjusted young people susceptible.
Effective Protection Strategies
Protecting children from online predators requires a balanced approach that combines technical safeguards with ongoing education and open communication. Consider implementing these strategies based on your child's age, maturity level, and online activities:
Technical Protection Measures
- Implement content filtering at the network level
Use DNS-level filtering (like NextDNS or CleanBrowsing) to block inappropriate content across all devices connected to your home network. - Configure robust parental controls
Set up age-appropriate restrictions on each device and platform your child uses. For younger children, consider enabling app/game approval requirements. - Limit private messaging capabilities
For children under 13, consider disabling direct messaging features on social and gaming platforms, or using tools that allow monitoring of these communications. - Regularly review privacy settings
Ensure that location sharing is disabled, profiles are private, and contact lists are limited to known friends. - Use monitoring solutions judiciously
Consider age-appropriate monitoring tools that alert parents to potentially concerning interactions without invasive surveillance that can damage trust.
Educational Approaches
- Teach recognition of grooming tactics
Help children identify flattery, isolation attempts, and boundary-pushing as red flags, rather than signs of a special relationship. - Develop critical evaluation skills
Regularly discuss how to verify online identities and evaluate the trustworthiness of new online contacts. - Establish clear boundaries about sharing
Create explicit family rules about what types of information and images should never be shared online, regardless of the requestor. - Practice refusal and help-seeking scenarios
Role-play how to firmly refuse uncomfortable requests and immediately seek help from trusted adults. - Discuss real-world cases age-appropriately
For teens, reviewing documented cases of online predator tactics (anonymized appropriately) can be powerful educational tools.
Relationship-Based Approaches
- Create a judgment-free safety zone
Explicitly establish that children can report concerning interactions without fear of losing device privileges or facing punishment. - Stay engaged with their online world
Show interest in their games, social platforms, and digital activities without criticism, allowing glimpses into their online social life. - Model healthy digital boundaries yourself
Demonstrate appropriate sharing, privacy practices, and balanced technology use through your own behavior. - Build offline support networks
Help children develop strong relationships with multiple trusted adults and peers to reduce vulnerability to online predators offering attention and validation. - Normalize regular technology check-ins
Establish routine, non-accusatory conversations about online experiences, creating opportunities for children to raise concerns naturally.
Remember that protection strategies should evolve as your child grows. What works for a 9-year-old will feel invasive and inappropriate for a 15-year-old. The goal is to gradually transfer responsibility for online safety from parent to child through ongoing education and guided practice.
How to Talk to Your Child About Online Predators
Discussing online predators with children requires balancing awareness with reassurance. These conversations should be ongoing, age-appropriate, and framed in terms of empowerment rather than fear. Here are guidelines for effective discussions:
For Children Ages 6-9
- Focus on general safety rules rather than predators specifically – "Some people online pretend to be someone they're not"
- Use simple analogies that relate to physical world safety rules they already understand
- Emphasize the "check first" rule – always check with a parent before sharing information, photos, or talking privately with someone online
- Practice identifying "tricky people" behaviors like asking for secrets or personal information
"Just like how we're careful about strangers in the park, we're also careful about people we meet online. Some people online might pretend to be kids when they're really adults, or they might act friendly but have bad intentions. That's why we always check with Mom or Dad before talking to new people online or sharing any pictures. You won't get in trouble for telling us if someone online makes you feel uncomfortable – we'll be proud of you for being brave and telling us."
For Children Ages 10-12
- Introduce the concept of grooming in age-appropriate language – "Some adults try to trick kids by being super friendly and giving lots of compliments"
- Discuss specific warning signs like keeping relationships secret, asking for photos, or making the child feel special or understood in ways others don't
- Connect offline safety lessons to online contexts, explaining how online risks can be harder to spot
- Begin discussing personal boundaries online and the importance of trusting uncomfortable feelings
"As you're spending more time online, I wanted to talk about how to stay safe. Sometimes people online - especially adults - might try to become close friends with kids by offering compliments, gifts in games, or saying they understand you better than your parents or friends. They might ask you to keep your conversations secret, which is a big warning sign. If anyone asks for photos of you, wants to talk about bodies or dating, or makes you feel uncomfortable, that's your instinct telling you something isn't right. You can always come to me if this happens, even if you've already been talking to them for a while."
For Teens Ages 13-17
- Have more detailed conversations about psychological manipulation tactics used by predators
- Discuss the potential for romantic manipulation and sextortion scenarios directly
- Address peer pressure aspects of sharing content and how predators exploit teenagers' desire for romantic relationships
- Emphasize that getting trapped doesn't mean they're stupid - even intelligent adults can be manipulated by these tactics
- Create clear pathways for reporting problems without fear of punishment or device confiscation
"I want to talk about something that happens more often than people realize. There are adults who specifically target teenagers online by pretending to be romantic interests or mentors who 'really understand you.' They're skilled at making you feel special and creating a sense of intimacy quickly. They might encourage you to share personal photos or videos, then use those to demand more explicit content by threatening to share what they have with your friends or me. I'm not telling you this to scare you, but because being aware of these tactics can help you spot them. If you ever find yourself in an uncomfortable situation online - even if you've made choices you regret - I promise I won't blame you or take away your phone. We'll figure it out together."
Throughout all these conversations, maintain a matter-of-fact, non-anxious tone. Your goal is to educate, not frighten. Children should feel empowered by this knowledge, not terrified of using technology. Make it clear that if something does happen, your first concern will be their safety and wellbeing, not punishment.
If You Suspect Your Child Has Been Targeted
If you discover your child has been contacted by an online predator or is being exploited online, your immediate response is crucial. Here's a step-by-step plan for addressing the situation effectively:
Immediate Actions
- Stay calm and be supportive
Avoid expressions of anger, blame, or punishment. Your child needs to know they're not in trouble and that your priority is their safety. - Listen without interruption
Allow your child to explain what happened without interrogating them. Reassure them they've done the right thing by telling you. - Preserve evidence
Take screenshots of all relevant communications, including usernames, platform information, and message content. Save these in a secure location. - Stop all contact with the suspected predator
Have your child block the person, but don't delete accounts or messages as these may be needed for investigation. - Report to platform safety teams
Submit reports through the platform's abuse or safety reporting systems, providing as much detail as possible.
Reporting to Authorities
- Contact the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
Report online exploitation via their CyberTipline (1-800-THE-LOST or CyberTipline). - File a report with local law enforcement
Ask to speak with someone who specializes in internet crimes against children (ICAC). - Contact the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center
File a report at IC3.gov, especially for cases of sextortion or exploitation. - Document all reports filed
Keep records of report numbers, officer names, and follow-up instructions for each authority contacted.
Supporting Your Child
- Reassure them they are not at fault
Explicitly tell them that what happened is the result of an adult's criminal behavior, not their mistakes. - Consider professional support
Arrange for counseling with a mental health professional experienced in trauma and exploitation issues. - Discuss privacy protection
Talk about practical steps to protect their privacy going forward, without suggesting the incident is now their responsibility to prevent. - Create a safety plan together
Collaboratively develop new guidelines for technology use that maintain safety while respecting their growing independence. - Check in regularly
Schedule specific times to talk about how they're feeling about the incident and their online experiences in general.
If your child has been coerced into sending explicit content and is being blackmailed:
- Assure them that they will not be prosecuted for creating imagery under coercion
- Explain that paying ransoms or sending more content doesn't solve the problem and typically leads to escalating demands
- Let them know that law enforcement is focused on catching the perpetrator, not punishing them
- Consider temporarily deactivating (not deleting) social media accounts if threats involve distributing content to their followers
- Notify their school's counseling team if there are concerns about content being shared with classmates
Remember that addressing online exploitation is primarily about supporting your child through a traumatic experience, not just handling a technical or legal issue. The way you respond can significantly impact how well they recover emotionally from the incident.
Building Digital Resilience for the Long Term
The ultimate goal in protecting children from online predators isn't perfect filtering or surveillance systems—it's developing their internal capacity to recognize, resist, and report manipulation. This digital resilience becomes increasingly important as children grow older and naturally spend more time online independently.
Effective long-term protection combines:
- Ongoing, evolving conversations about online safety that grow in sophistication as your child matures
- Gradual transfer of responsibility from external controls to internal judgment
- Building critical thinking skills that help children evaluate online relationships and requests
- Creating multiple trusted pathways for children to seek help when confronted with concerning situations
- Fostering healthy self-esteem and strong offline relationships that reduce vulnerability to predators offering validation and connection
By combining appropriate technical safeguards with education and open communication, parents can substantially reduce the risk of online exploitation while helping children develop the skills they'll need to navigate digital spaces safely throughout their lives.
- NetSmartz - Age-appropriate videos and activities about internet safety
- Thorn.org - Research and education about online child sexual exploitation
- ConnectSafely - Platform-specific safety guides for parents
- FBI Sextortion Resources - Information specifically about sextortion tactics and responses
Check out our Complete iPhone Setup Guide for Parents for step-by-step instructions on setting up all parental controls.